If you end up in debt restructuring, that is for lot of people already a reason to slip into a (deep) depression, but what if you have been in a very deep depression for years by all sorts of setbacks. How can you keep yourself together. The weekly visit to the psychologist, the subject of discussion is more the financial situation and the current depression is on a different level and does not show any progress.
It is particularly difficult to explain how these problems are getting intertwined and that it has a negative effect on someone mentally. A Dutch saying states and roughly translated comes down to “Can’t see the forest because of the view blocking trees”, but what if you can’t even see the trees anymore. You can be so strong on a mental level or not, but in fact that is a very scary thought and that you are misunderstood in your (re)quest for help and sometimes it’s plainly by ignorance. Then that feels as if they are trying to push you directly into an abyss instead of helping you to stop your downfall.
For the debt restructuring (if properly organized) there comes a point in time that things are going to be settled and progress towards better times, but people in that situation still think about that and over the course of restructuring it never leaves their mind, which does not benefit the already existing heavy depression and loneliness. It adds to that and in many cases it stops the mental healing process and it even worsen in most cases. I understand like no other what kind of effect this will have on your personality and how it can influence your character with mega impact and how someone can behave in complete contradiction to how the person actually is and even find it difficult to recognize social signals.
Then finding the right medication becomes a puzzle (Anti-depressant) to help restore mental balance and take into account the medication that a person already takes for other physical illnesses. Now you don’t want interfere with your GP and psychologist/psychiatrist to what the best treatment and medication could be, but when you rely on that aide and have been disappointed more than once, it’s hard to completely trust those carers. A person with a serious confidence problem it’s very frustrating and shouldn’t be taken lightly.
It provides an additional threshold in the quest for mental recovery, and that it’s also difficult to explain to the outside world. Especially in the case of someone who is in a very serious social isolated state because of trauma, setbacks and disappointments and thus actually has no outside world. loneliness is a very dangerous, but also very sad thing if someone is living in poverty by debt restructuring, then it also narrows the space around someone to absorb it all and process various things on a mental and financial level. Try to explain that to the outside world and what a person is going through. Asking for help and talking about it outside your comfort zone and the usual aid workers is almost an impossible task and should never be interpreted lightly. Let alone that someone makes an effort trying to understand it.
You often hear that someone says “if there is anything you need, anything at all… please let me know ok.” That may sound helpful, but the help offered means nothing in 99% of the cases. Don’t say it to someone in need if you don’t have any intention to help at all. Because when the person in need asks for that help and you get in all sorts of excuses to get out of it, the disappointment you create could have very substantial consequences. So turn your meaningless offer around and act on it. So no excuses, but you actively perform on your offered help.
In closing I can express what my feelings are, frustrations and what my anger is, that you certainly should not be ignorant if you notice that someone is slipping from society. A little compassionate help can mean more than you think to someone who lives in poverty and loneliness.